The Baby Bump Bomb

It's been nearly 18 weeks since I lost our baby.

Things have been tough here, I won't lie.

I'm so incredibly lucky to have a beautiful, healthy LL but that doesn't take away the hurt of not having the baby bump I should have had by now. I'd only have had a matter of weeks left to pop and meet the bump who I'd have blamed for heartburn and sickness for the last 30 weeks (I suffered dreadfully while carrying LL but she was so worth it).

Of course, I don't begrudge people happiness and their dream ending to their TTC journey and I'm happy for those who get their little bumps that turn into bundles of beautifulness (because of my anonymity, I can make up words here, normally I'm such a grammar and spelling freak!)

But it's not making easy viewing when I click or tap on to my Facebook or Instagram right now.

One of my old antenatal friends posted a picture on Facebook today announcing her pregnancy. Instead of the standard "here's what's inside my womb" photo, she's gone with a more cryptic image of her son standing up in her bed with an Eviction Notice for January 2015, due to a new inhabitant. I don't approve of the image (it's my hippy parenting!) but I'm pleased for them.

But that then gets me thinking about how I'd have broken the news..... oh, who am I fooling! Ha! As if I hadn't had that planned the second I saw that glorious second line appearing on my pregnancy test!!! (I shan't spoil the surprise, I'll post it here if and when it happens!)

And then there's the multitude of gorgeous baby pics from other friends - "three months old today" or "eight weeks and first smile" the proud mamas say.

Argh. So jealous.

In my previous pregnancy, I did post a regular pic of my bump growing and I did do the normal womb pic but now I've gone through the heartache of a miscarriage, I just know I won't be like that next time around. I would hate for my female friends who may be desperate to be pregnant or have suffered a miscarriage to see my wobbly bits getting wobblier and constant reminders of what they want so badly.