"I thought it would be better for you...."

A few weeks ago, I should have been giving birth to the baby I lost in February. The day was not surprisingly quite difficult, although made better by the fact we were on holiday in the beautiful Isle of Wight and staying at such an amazing cottage in Shanklin.

Six months on, I feel more at ease with the loss although I will never ever fully heal from the scars. And neither do I want to because that would mean I'd forgotten about our baby that was too beautiful for this world.

However, this whole process has certainly opened up my eyes to how other people treat you when they know you've miscarried. Or, more specifically, how they just don't understand the pain. Even more specifically, how they then seem to want to rub it in that they've had no issues with getting and staying pregnant.

I have a friend (she's not a friend really, as you'll discover in a few sentences along...) who invited me round to her house in the summer holidays. I had an inkling there was a reason for the invite.

Turns out she's pregnant. OK. So I'm not upset by that fact. She tried, it worked, happy days for her, cute womb picture to show for it, off to the antenatal appointments, complaining about fatigue and sickness etc, then worries about the birth. No problem at all. It happens every day, just because I'm not pregnant doesn't mean no one else can have a baby.

What upset me was this sentence she delivered after the "woooo I'm having another baby" thing: "I thought it would be better telling you face to face about my happy news because after your sad news, you'd be able to deal with it better than reading an email or seeing it on Facebook."

So she had specifically invited me - and two other ladies who have recently miscarried - to her house to gloat. Face to face.

It was a premeditated act. Well thought out and executed.

So she had honestly thought that it would better for me - her friend, apparently - to have to fake a smile and congratulatory words in front of her instead of have a selfish little cry behind a laptop or iPhone screen reading the news in an email.

Really?! How heartless and cruel can you be?! If there hadn't have been the justification of an invite to her house "because it would be better to have been told face to face", I'd have no issue. Instead, she looks ever so catty and disrespectful of what has been a friggin awful time in my life!

I can't explain the heartache of miscarriage and subsequent baby bombs because unless you've been there, you honestly won't know. What I can say is that if you get pregnant and have to break the news to a friend who has recently lost a baby, PLEASE do not do it like she did.